Aspirations

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In thinking for topics of blog posts we have some key themes. Health, wellness, yoga and Thai massage all hold a central place. My work has been a manifestation of deeper dreams. It’s been a goal to never resent my work. I don’t want to spend the bulk of my time in labor that doesn’t fit right livelihood. In short, I want to make myself and others feel better. I can already hear the murmurs…”but I have bills to pay. I have things to pay for.” I’ve never wanted to sacrifice material comforts for a well lived life. I think you can have both.

I’m told that it’s important to have a dream. When Andrea and I moved into our current home she was the one who saw Ebb and Flow yoga studio in an old garage that’d been carpeted. Friends told us that we couldn’t do yoga in the room, the floor wasn’t level. We marched on. Used/recycled mirrors, a few posters and art, some yoga props, mats and pillows later and we have a studio.

Everything I have has been built from the ground up. I’ve strived for excellence in every area of my life and am not disappointed with the results that continue to pour in. Naysayers have been vanquished. I’m teaching yoga, giving Thai massage, teaching Thai massage to other massage therapists and providing for my family. It’s been nice to see that it’s possible to live well and not sacrifice my ideals.

Still I aspire for more. Having an aspiration for something greater has fueled it all. I want what’s best for myself and others. When it comes to Ebb and Flow yoga studio I think it’d be nice to present the vision I have for the studio.

Ebb and Flow yoga studio isn’t a building or a place. It doesn’t exist in Round Rock and can move if it needs. The studio isn’t even mine, it’s ours. I’ve purposefully tried to present it as community space used for healing work. In saying it’s ours it feels more like community space, something used by those who work in its walls. So being that it’s ours what can we make it?

When I sit back and float mentally, here’s what I see.

Ebb and Flow studio if in its present location would be found with lush gardens around it. The front yard garden would supply greens for smoothies and take home herbs for students. As community oriented space people could tend the garden as they chose. The landscape would be worked on and heavy applications of mulch around the trees would build better soil. We’d also have flowers, trees, bee hives in the back, a chicken tractor that’s mobile around the yard and a large worm pit in back to compost in.

The path beside the house leading to the studio would be cleaned and painted with a nice sign, maybe the one in our studio with a painted arrow to the door. The path along the side would have lattice work of deer fencing connecting from the fence to the wall. This would allow vining plants to grow up and over the walkway in summer providing some shade and cooling the studio passively. In winter the plants die back allowing sun to hit the wall providing passive heat as it does currently. Dual paned insulating windows installed in the west facing wall would allow passive light and heat as well as keep cool in summer. Natural bamboo blinds can be raised or lowered to control light and heat levels.

This video gives you some visual idea of what we’re describing. Think yoga studio.

The studio walls are made of straw bale and cobb, these thick insualting materials that are derived from local products that are renewable. Earthen plasters and natural dyes can be worked into the walls themselves for color and decor. Nooks and crannies would be worked into the walls to hold pictures, photos, plants and figurines of importance. Small shelves built into the space allow for candles. The vaulted ceiling would stay as would more of the built in railing that would hold plants like variegated ivy. The plants will grow out and branch and trellis on small pieces of cedar pegs that line the upper walls. The growth allows them to blanket the upper wall and create green space indoors. They provide oxygen and can grow year round in the environment without heating or cooling that’s artificial.

A built in fountain provides white noise and is filled from the cistern that connects to the roof. The rain water that flows through it is used to water the plants and a small nook is created to hold the ladder to allow access to water and remove old leaves from plants. The upper windows have small latches that are accessible from the wall. It allows them to open and close while small fans that are solar powered provide ventilation if needed. Too hot you open the windows and vent air out, if it needs to cool you open the windows and pull air in.

The flooring is made of recycled Texas barn wood and used wine corks. The cushioned flooring is better on your joints and provides ample space for variations that are pleasing to the eye and friendly feeling to the body. The walls would have Iyengar style props, straps to open the shoulders and allow downward facing dog poses that traction the lumbar spine when needed. The central three thick lattice are structurally sound enough to provide inversion equipment. Three students at a time can hang upside down and traction their spine while continuing to work on their practice in unique ways currently unavailable.

Mats, pillows, blankets, blocks and other equipment is stored easily due to the way the building is built with spaces for all of them. Recessed areas that hold them specifically and functionally. The building supports our practice not the other way around.

Music can come through the well placed speakers built into the studio and includes a subwoofer to provide ample range from bass lines to higher frequencies without having loud volume. The controls and receiver are all easy to reach. A fold away flat projection screen allows films and video related to yoga practice to be shown during downtime at the studio for educational purposes.

The altar is custom made from recycled materials. Using what others have considered garbage we use broken tiles and smooth materials to create tiered areas to hold photos, mementos and offerings to our teachers. Imagine a statue of Ganesh, a figure of Jesus next to photos of Iyengar and Sojourner Truth. Since this is our studio you bring mementos that mean something to you. Flowers from the garden can be picked and placed into vases held on the altar as well.

The additional wall space can be painted or decorated with murals by artists or the community or both. Ebb and Flow yoga studio is what we make it.

If I’ve gone that far into conceiving of the walls and physical space can you imagine what we’re trying to do with the body? That’s the temple…what we described is just the building.

Here’s another video with Dan Phillips talking about recycled materials. We’d pick and choose what materials the structure would be made of. “Talk about your plenty, talk about your ills…one man gathers what another man spills”~St. Stephen by the Grateful Dead

On the Breath pt.1

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I remind my yoga students to breathe. I’m always working on alignment, working on furthering their stretch and focusing on certain muscles to grow stronger but I return again and again to the breath. In hatha yoga, it’s the foundation everything else is built on.

In any pose at any time you should be able to breathe as fully as the pose will allow. If the pose is compressing your ribs so can’t take a full 100% breath then you breathe as well as you can with the space you do have. Poise and grace in position is what we’re working towards. If you can breathe steadily and calmly through a full class you’re well on your way to being able to sit and meditate.

The breath has profound effects on mood and outlook. Its ability to change one’s state of mind is well known in yoga. Older texts on pranayama usually start with a warning, “Danger! The exercises in this book can lead to arrythmia, anxiety, depression and eventually death…” not exactly something you want to play around with. Certainly at its edges there can be danger but for most the beginning of working with breathing is safe. I’ve been teaching it to seniors at a nursing home for a year.

The full range of changes chemically and biologically escape me. Let’s know that breathing in helps you take in more oxygen and exhaling allows you to rid the body of carbon dioxide. If we strengthen the muscles that help you breathe, you do so more efficiently even when at rest. Same as your bicep and a curl. The stronger it is the more it allows you to lift something with less exertion.

Breathe! You’ll live longer and with sharper focus.

Fat girls yoga pt.2

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People think you have to already be thin, young, healthy, flexible before you can do yoga. I’ve no idea why this is the case since one of the greatest modern teachers of yoga was so sick his own teacher gave up on him when he first started learning. BKS Iyengar developed props to help people get into poses gradually, to open their bodies but starting where they were, no matter their physical state at the time.

Let me point something out. This is me.

I sometimes think I’m fat. Let me say that again for those of you who’re questioning my sanity. I sometimes…think I’m fat. Body image is an odd beast and there are winter days where I’m sluggish and feel like poop warmed over. I go to a Bikram yoga class and feel youthful and vibrant. I feel like Titus Pullo.

When I took this photo after a Bikram class I felt alive and well, certainly not fat. Years from now I can look back and remember that I had visible abs. For guys that’s some sort of benchmark in western society. Don’t believe me? Find a copy of 300 and watch it. Abs are a big deal. Why? Do you needs visible abs to do yoga? Well you certainly do if you want to strut around and flirt with girls after class I suppose.

Image and yoga? What do they have to do with one another? Very little but American marketing demands that its needs be met. Yoga even the physical hatha yoga isn’t about the physical. The end goal has absolutely nothing to do with your physical body. In fact the practice is supposed to teach you, to have you experience the fact that you are not your body. It uses the physical as a doorway to the spirit. You may have to walk through it but I doubt anyone has ever reached saint status then thought, “man, I don’t have abs any more.” Crunches needed.

So what’s the focus on fat? I’ve no clue. I presume it’s just the groans of a dying society lost in a whirlpool. Our species for most of its existence had to struggle to get enough calories. Many on the planet still starve but those who have food, especially here in America have, dare I say, too much food. Food is everywhere and you can’t avoid it. People say sex sells but how often do you see pornography on a billboard? How often do you see naked breasts on the convenience store window? You do see ads for poptarts, corn dog rollers, double bacon patty melts and a whole host of foods not only poor in nutrition but loaded with calories. Hold up some kale and ask kids what it is? Brocolli? Swiss Chard? Now hold up a burger, do you see my point?

Part of the issue with yoga and those considered fat is that yoga, a timeless part of Indian spiritual tradition hit America. The land of botox, lapbands, fake boobs and pastreurized processed cheese food has now tried to merge with a spiritual tradition whose goal was samadhi. Lord, save me from your followers.

If you are ill or unhealthy then you’ll have problems reaching that goal. That is what the physical yoga is for. It’s designed to help make you strong, limber, focused with open hips that allow you to sit and meditate. Notice that I did not mention cute $100.00 yoga attire, mats, blocks, straps, water bottles, yearly memberships or your neighbors excess or lack of arm pit hair. Those trappings and material components have nothing to do with yoga. It’s not the point.

The point is you. It’s helping you wherever you are physically to train your mind and body to experience who you really are, underneath the abs or fat or both. So for the fat girls out there, yoga is designed for you. Much like life and relationships, yoga is what you make it.

I teach yoga in a nursing home once a week and have for the past year and a half. These people have taught me more about the practice of yoga than anyone. Know why? Because they couldn’t do anything that I thought of as yoga previously. They can’t get on a mat, they must sit in a chair. They’ve never done any traditional yoga pose other than mountain pose in a standing position.

If you come to my yoga class and can’t do something, we find something else for you to do. We improvise. If you’re in a yoga class and a teacher makes you feel bad or criticizes the fact that you can’t do a pose find another class and teacher. My goal as a guide is to help you explore you, wherever you are. Out of shape? So what. That means you’re a perfect student. The practice is designed to help you not convince you you’re not worth anything. If I as a yoga teacher cannot look at new students with different bodies as an opportunity to grow my own teaching practice then I have failed as a teacher. Each new student with different limitations is my chance to find out something new about what I’ve devoted my life to.

Start where you are. There is no other option.

Oh and by the way, remember when I said I feel fat? I’m 5’10” and weigh 174lbs. According to BMI I’m 1lb overweight. Medically I’m overweight. If I lose 1lb I’ll be considered okay. Get my point? That guy in the photo with the abs is considered medically overweight.

I’m keeping my bacon and my fat girls.

Fat girls yoga pt.1

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Each of the three words in the title elicit some response in the reader. I like all three. Fat whether it be from bacon or a good looking woman is usually pleasant to me. Girls are nice or at least hopefully are. Yoga is my preferred exercise and spiritual practice so combine all three and I’ve got a powerhouse of innuendo.

Recently it came to light that Paula Deen is diabetic. I felt an odd sense of well, duh when I first saw the article and after criticising her brunch donut sandwich felt like this announcement was the point I’d been trying to make while discussing Deen with friends recently.

I don’t want anyone to have diabetes. My mother is diabetic. It’s not fun, doesn’t make life easier and with high healthcare costs do we want even higher rates of diabetes showing up? I don’t. It’s a huge mix of issues from nature to nurture but people get diabetes for a whole host of reasons due to genetic factors and lifestyle. Can Paula Deen do yoga? Sure, whether or not she’s male or female or has diabetes has nothing to do with the practice.

Yoga was not originally taught to women. It was a men’s club in India. Fat people were less common because you had to figure out how to get enough food to become fat. McDonald’s didn’t exist when the vedas were written. Yoga is now an American institution and with ample food we wind up with fat girls in yoga class.

I’ll never forget a young lady showing up to work with me on yoga privately. We discussed health, diet, exercise and yoga. If allowed I have very relaxed meetings and discussions. My client announced in no uncertain terms that she would not allow me to tell her she should lose weight. If I pressured her in any way she would resist and cease working with me. To this point I’d mentioned nothing like this at all and found myself perplexed. I just felt puzzled and said, “what does being overweight have to do with health?”

We didn’t wind up working together but in retrospect I think she’d had so many health care workers focus on her weight that she had an assumption that anyone who worked in health would make issue of it. You’re fat? Ok. I’m not sure what that has to do with your ability to do yoga, live a long life or be healthy. People come in all shapes and sizes and it’s my firm belief that yoga is for everyone, not just the limber and biological elite.

I never want anyone to think they couldn’t come to my yoga classes. General classes would be difficult to work out if you were in a wheelchair but that’s just due to shooting to the middle of ability in a class with 6 people. Fat people can do yoga just as well as thin ones. The question is what is yoga?

For most it’s just a physical exercise. To me it’s more than this. It’s not your ability to do a certain pose but your ability to harness and focus your attention while in the pose. The practice can be done by anyone and is supposed to bring health, wholeness and make people at ease. I’ve never heard any mention of fat getting in the way. Your body is where it is. Start where you are, grow your roots.

People who aren’t some societal vision of physical perfection can stand, can sit, lay down and therefore you can do hatha yoga. If you go to yoga classes where the teacher or students look at you oddly then ignore the students and find another teacher. It’s as simple as that. You are wherever you are. Size has nothing to do with yoga.

I posted this video on my business facebook page and had quite the response.

Some announced this was why they couldn’t do yoga. They were comparing themselves to the woman in the video and announcing they’d never be able to do those things. Others like myself were in awe of her muscular control and grace in the middle of difficult poses. I found it tremendously beautiful.

I was discouraged to find that I could not find the video I wanted of big sexy girls doing yoga. If you type big sexy girls yoga into youtube or google be preprared for near pornographic non-yogic focus to your video. Much hilarity ensued.

My friend was asking me why I don’t use my wife and students to shoot a video of big sexy girls doing yoga and my first comment was, “because it’ll turn into my own personal youtube video of sexual shame!” I like big girls. I like girls that are considered fat. Nothing gives me as much joy as coming home after a Bikram yoga class where I have sweated and worked out in a hot room to my lovely curvy wife relaxing on the couch. She asks how class was, I get her a slice of cheescake. It’s not everyone’s choice but fat girls do yourself a favor and hang out with men and yoga teachers who appreciate bigger women.

I’ll see you in yoga class. Just remember I’m married.

Martin

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MLK Jr. has a spot on my yoga wall as one of my teachers. When I learned more about him, particularly in high school, I was taken with his intellect but even moreso his public speaking. His cadence and rhythm combined with rhetoric made for powerful speeches no one could argue with. Much like gospel music even if you didn’t agree you still had to believe.

He seemed larger than life and like most figures he’s become almost a myth in later years. Discussions rage about who he really was as a man and what his message means in a modern America. Nonviolence and his influence from Gandhi and then Thich Nhat Hanh’s nomination for the Nobel Peace prize comes directly from Martin’s hands. He was ecumenical in his approach and would have easily sat down with someone not only of another ancestry but of different belief.

Through the speeches I’ve listened to I’ve been made aware that much like Hitler, when it comes to public speaking you cannot only be logical. Your speech must pull on heart strings to be made real. This is why orators are remembered as they are. Speech and using words well can move people in the way music can but add logic and laughter and you’ve really got something. To have an influence on people and to sway them towards a greater good you must be strong in your own beliefs and possess the ability to bring others along with you for the benefit of the rest of mankind.

For his time Martin could change the way black people in America thought about themselves and how the rest of America considered them. Opposing the Vietnam war was not the best path he could have taken for his own life and I keep in mind that a man so great didn’t get very far when he opposed the economic and political factors that supported the war machine.

“Movements come and movements go
Leaders speak, movements cease
When their heads are flown
‘Cause all these punks
Got bullets in their heads
Departments of police, the judges, the feds
Networks at work, keepin’ people calm
You know they went after King
When he spoke out on Vietnam
He turned the power to the have-nots
And then came the shot”~~Wake Up by Rage Against the Machine

May Martin’s words and dreams live on. Remember he was a human first, black second. The categories we keep should bring us together not separate.

Thai seated back pt.3

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This is the last in our series on Thai massage from a seated position. All three of these videos and the work can be viewed and performed in sequence to make a little routine your friends will thank you for.

The value in Thai massage lay in its ability to use body weight effectively. It’s similar to jiu jitsu in that you’re using the receivers body and weight against itself to apply pressure. Work smart, not hard. For massage therapists with an active practice it creates space to save your hands and allows new opportunities in movement.

Dancers, yoga students and martial artists especially appreciate the work. If you’d like to learn Thai massage register for class this Friday.

13 pt.5

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Andrea is in the car and on her way home. Now begins the healing process and medication to keep pain at bay till it’s gone. I suspect there will be naps, food and lots of Sherlock. 😛

Thanks for following the blog and giving me space to put my energy out online. There have been many emotions this past week and a writer friend who encouraged my bodywork practice and writing is gone. It will take time to process all that’s come and gone.

I remind myself while teaching yoga that I must never become an elitist. I never wish to feel I can’t learn something from a forward bend even if I’m 90. A good yoga teacher, much like a lover, is supple, aware and engaged. Never think yourself so advanced to not learn from something from a beginner. Pompous and arrogant have no place in teaching yoga. Upright and righteous sure. Standing tall and taking in what’s going on in class certainly. Thinking you know it all, never.

Take time to breathe in all aspects of life. Sit. Wait. Breathe again. Then act.

Love you all.

13 pt.4

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So Andrea’s surgery went well. She should be awake in a few hours. The doctor reported that all looked clear and that her ovaries stayed in.

This was a debate with the original doctor. The original doctor was pretty adamant that from the time Andrea found out we’d come in for surgery in a week and Andrea would essentially do as she was told. Those are harsh words but they feel truthful to what I heard. Cancer kills, we go in an remove it first before it spreads was the method. Andrea had more of an issue with the fact that the original doctor gave her very little information and barely treated her like a person, she was just a collection of symptoms. Again, harsh words but we’re dealing with a potentially life ending proposition so I cut the doctor some slack.

The second doctor was willing to talk to Andrea more, give her info and explain the procedures and options in more detail. This doctor also was apprehensive about her ovaries. “Do my ovaries have tumors? Do they contain cancer?” The doctor has to tell her no if that is in fact the case but microscopic is the word no one likes to hear. Ovaries are extremely vascular, if the lymph nodes and and ovaries also metastisize then it’s highly likely to be a Huge life threatening ordeal.

If Andrea has her ovaries out, ovaries which are completely healthy she reduces her chance of anything spreading and she’s mostly done using them right? She’s had 4 children from natural child birth. Well, they still produce hormones that will continue to do their thing through her life cycle into menopause. So modern cancer is a balance between ok, let’s remove half of your body just in case or risk dying. Andrea has had a healthy normal sex drive and life for all of her adult life. The doctors and nurses were Aghast that she’d never had a surgery. There were concerns about anesthesia because she’s never had it and therefore they don’t know how she responds to certain drugs. “You’ve had four children, how did you not have surgery?” I waited for Andrea to respond and she firmly said, “I had four children from Natural Childbirth.” You could tell they’re not used to hearing that in a hospital where a normal bodily function can be deemed deadly.

“How much risk are we talking about? Give me numbers.” The doctor then told Andrea the risk was from 2-5% that the cancer could spread from her cervix to the ovaries if left behind. Andrea decided on her own that they could remove anything that had cancer and she wanted to keep the ovaries IF they were clear. If the doctors went in and there were anomalies remove them. I supported Andrea’s conclusion and the doctor was willing to sign off on it but expressed that if it were her…

2-5% on pokerstars loses me some hands in poker. 2-5% on life? It’s not something anyone wants to gamble with but as Andrea and I joked with the doctor I can always find a new wife. Fortunately the doctors had a sense of humor, something I find common amongst those in a medical field that concerns life or death.

So now we wait for the Friday the 13th lady to wake up.

13 pt.3

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Hospital cafeteria food? Is it really food? It may be a touch better than what I remember being served in public school but I can’t consider it much in the way of health giving. Food is an extremely touchy subject for many people. I think I’ve lost more friends to vegetarianism, vegans or raw food than anything including drugs or religion.

What’s healthy to eat? There is no definition of health. George Burns lived on coffee and cigars and lived to be 100. I’m not saying it’s everyones choice but all things in moderation.

Beyond the nutritional content of the muffins, juice and high fructose corn syrup of the coke I just purchased from the cafe is the quantity that people consume those foods in. I’m unsure of the ratio but I often think our bodies are capable of fending off huge amounts of illness but we overtax them. Do we really need the buffet at Golden Corral? Quality and quantity are linked in much the same way that nature and nurture are.

High fructose corn syrup is consumed in amounts that are staggering. It’s placed into most packaged processed foods and although I don’t avoid it all together I do try to limit it in our house. I started buying soda with regular sugar like Mountain Dew Throwback and the kids like it just fine. Regular sugar has the same glycemic index issues but I trust it more due to its longer history with our species. We also limit the kids to a single soda a day.

It’s not to me about absolutes, right and wrong so much as general paths. This is the direction we’re headed, what helps us get there? I don’t want to feel shame when I eat anything, even the Whataburger I had late last night. Guilt, shame, and eating to avoid feeling is a sure way to develop a negative relationship to something that should be healing. Taking joy in food, even the occasional soda with hfcs is surely better for you than being sad and lamenting your choices for hours on end.

Now to find out if I get arrested for doing headstands in the hospital waiting room.

13 part deux

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Before you’ve practiced, the theory is useless. After you’ve practiced, the theory is obvious. -David Williams, Ashtanga teacher

The state of modern medicine is a constant source of confusion to me. How did we wind up here?

Andrea doesn’t have a goiter. Andrea has had a nodule, a growth on her thyroid gland since time immemorial. Every doctor she talks to expresses concern and wants to take it out but she’s a completely normal thyroid activity and doesn’t suffer from a malfunctional gland. It’s a benign growth and also presents no issues with her breathing or swallowing. It’s not uncomfortable and if it poses no issue, why remove it? If you have a mole that’s not cancerous but isn’t causing issues on your back do you leave it?

Doctors as with anyone else immediately grab onto what they can see and comment on it. Two nurses and one doctor have come in to prod the growth because they’re worried it pushes her trachea off and won’t allow her to be put to sleep for surgery. So my question is, if you know you have to put someone to sleep for surgery and you can SEE the growth wouldn’t you check that before, like…weeks ago when you scheduled the surgery?

We presume it’ll be fine but people have elevated blood pressure and heart rate when they see doctors for a reason. White coat syndrome is extremely common.

Integration is at the core of my work in wellness. Mostly I use yoga, diet and overall healthy lifestyle to have as little to do with doctors and hospitals as possible. I don’t know the biology of cancer because it’s not my area. My knowledge base in anatomy and physiology is very limited. My tools are archaic and rudimentary. They also seem to be the most influential over the course of a lifetime. Not only do I think a regular yoga practice leads to health I think it leads to well being.

The holistic nature of my work leads me to wonder why no one in a medical setting seems to communicate. From the word go western medicine treats people as organisms, consisting of organ system, organs, cells and on down the line. If you see a general practitioner then you see a specialist who focuses on some minutiae. When a conscious aware person is treated as a series of symptoms is it any doubt they get agitated?

Reductionist materialism has its place as does a scientific viewpoint but I often wonder if we’d cut off our nose to spite our face. HIPPA regulations make everything more complicated it seems and the more complex the more paperwork and people involved which means you add increasing layers of red tape and infrastructure to navigate some behemoth. Should I just be happy they sped up the paperwork for medicare/aid approval so Andrea could have her surgery? I’ll sit and breathe.

The frustration, when you push me into a corner, the fundamental opposition I have even after a long yoga practice where I feel serene is this, how much does this country spend on rockets and bombs every year? What about the rest of the world? Can we get together and put a little more into R&D on healthcare? We could argue many points but no one wishes their loved ones or friends and family to suffer at the hands of things that should be cured sooner rather than later.

I ran across an article that Ray Kurzweil would like about research on salamanders to regrow limbs, primarily for military veterans who’ve suffered from the effects of IED’s. Now let me be clear, I don’t wish for anyone to suffer. If anyone loses a limb I want medicine to be able to replace and restore a body back to pristine condition. With that in mind, I realize that we’re pushing into a brave new world but instead of working to regrow limbs why don’t we create a world where soldiers don’t have limbs blown off? Let’s keep troops home and work on world community where no one lacks basic food, shelter and basic human wants. You may say I’m a dreamer…

Do I look impressed?

Friday the 13th

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I’m told that the number 13 is considered a bad omen due to Judas being the 13th disciple. Whatever the case we’ve all found it ironic that today would be the day that my wife is in the hospital to have her cervix removed. After an abnormal pap the word carcinoma came up on the phone and our medical quest began. Judas is traditionally considered the disciple who turned on Jesus, cancer is when your biology turns on you. Maybe there’s a justification for Judas libel but history doesn’t give us much information.

My first thought after brief discussion with my wife was that cancer cells don’t mean you have cancer. That is to say most people develop and take care of cancer many times during their lifetime. Its biology is just beginning to be understood and to give you an idea of how archaic our technology is in most cases you have cancer becomes what we’re doing now. Cut it out immediately and pray.

100 years from now how we treat cancer will be looked at as the dark ages. I find it ironic that I was reading The Singularity Is Near by Ray Kurzweil at the time we found out about the diagnosis. In the book he’s discussing the point at which technology expands so rapidly that man and machine fuse, the expansion of knowledge becomes so strong that humanity as we know it might not even be considered humanity any longer. Go and watch the Terminator series of films and then the Matrix. See how it all goes bad? Well to Ray Kurzweil it’s the opposite, it all goes good and disease, decay and even death itself is banished.

Gene therapy hasn’t been developed and since we don’t yet know how to turn off cancer, cutting it out seems to be the treatment of choice. Kurzweil believes that our smart phones will slowly be integrated into our own bodies, you’ll have google maps at a glance in your head and the decay of telomeres which control aging will have been vanquished. To make a long story short, everything gets better and machines will slowly integrate into us. The line between man and machine will vanish and we’ll spread out into the universe…forever. Sounds like heaven right?

Remember my wife is scared shitless about to have part of her body cut off. I put my hand on my forehead considering what Kurzweil promises is around the corner and where we’re actually at. I also remind myself that in the documentary Transcendent Man Kurzweil goes through open heart surgery. You see, he as much as anyone else is hoping the technology comes sooner rather than later. No one wants to exit a week before the Singularity gets here.

So it’s Friday the 13th and yesterday we found out that a long time friend passed away from cancer. She’d been battling for a long time and leaves behind a family and daughter less than a year old. Hearing of her passing the day before my wife’s surgery isn’t fun. Did I mention I also left a clients home to realize I’d only been left one shoe? Don’t worry, it’s replaceable just been a few odd days.

Carissa or Reesa as she’s known to friends and family was my age. She fought over the course of time and had peaks and valleys while her family does what everyone with a sick loved one does, go through a huge range of emotions and deals with life at that moment. Andrea and I are now dealing with the same. My only real security is that my wife and I have had our relationship in such a way that if we got hit by a bus on the way over to the hospital we’ve loved each other and expressed that love in a way that doesn’t leave regret. If one of us goes the other doesn’t have any ill feelings about how we’ve interacted with each other.

That’s not a cure for cancer but it’s the best we got.

I’ll be blogging through the day to take up time while at the hospital. I’ve got a pillow, a blanket, smart phone (not yet installed in me but Ray Kurzweil would say it’s coming soon) and a copy of Eric Schiffmann’s Moving Into Stillness.

Keep in touch, I’ll be posting and blogging through the coming days. Want to help? Schedule a massage in the future, come to a yoga class and share these or other blog posts and videos from my youtube channel. The more advertising I get, the more exposure and healing had and our family doesn’t worry where the rent comes from while Andrea recuperates.

How to neti pt.2

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In a previous post we discussed the neti and how it creates a softness and texture to the breath through cleaning, hydrating and adding nuance to respiration. The nose is the preferred place to breath from, not the mouth. Mouth breathing stimulates the fight of flight response and most breathing in yoga is through the nose. “Mouth breather” is a derrogatory term for a reason, even if people don’t realize why, they sense it’s poor health function. If you can’t breathe through your nose, allergies come to mind, then breathe through your mouth. It’s not wrong, just not preferred. Always breathe.

Inside the nose and sinus passages are structures called turbinates. These structures aid in the cleaning and hydrating of air before it enters the lungs. Using a neti facilitates this process and the turbinates structure is of importance. When you breathe in through the nose the air circulates or spirals due to the turbinates. That soft, moist mucus membrane then picks up any particulate matter like dust, mold or pollen before it enters the lungs. As the air spirals and flows against the mucus membrane the increased moist surface area allows that particulate to stick, it’s part of your bodies filtering mechanism. See why the neti is important? It cleans this off regularly so you can start anew.